Insomnis Veritas: In Dreams there is Truth
by girltype
Summary: She's not weak. She lost everything she ever cared about and went on. She's the one who holds them all together through sheer force of will. She's not weak, but sometimes she wishes she was. Cloti with hints of Reno lovin'
1. Chapter 1: Prolouge: Same Old Dream

Author's Notes: So I'm going to be attempting to play around with the make up of a story. The last time I did it the story actually came out pretty good. which was a relief. The next chapter will be much longer, its not going to be a story just of drabbles (incase you were wondering) but there will be chapters that are drabble-ish dispersed through out. So please stick with me while I try to fine tune this. Thanks!

Also it would be a great help if you reviewed to tell me what you thought.

Insomnis Veritas: _In Dreams there is Truth_

Chapter 1: Prolouge: Same Old Dream

She bolts up right an incoherent cry dying on her lips even as the last nightmare image fades away. Her breath is a thundering roar in her own ears drowning out any other sounds.

For a moment her eyes dart around, trying to see into the shadows that gather in the corners of her room. There's only emptiness; in the room and in her head. Suddenly she has a new, old, fear that the emptiness goes out into the hallway and into the other rooms. Then she's out of bed, blankets left in a heap behind her, as she dashes into the hallway.

The hall is as empty as her room and she panics for a second. She comes to a skidding halt outside his door, gasping in air and staring at the dark wood. She has to force herself into stillness. She whispers a prayer as she opens the door and peers inside.

For a heartbeat that feels like a lifetime she sees nothing. Her hands start to shake close to rattling and then…

He's sleeping on the bed; face turned toward the door, with his hair is a gold halo around him. He shifts, his mouth moving soundlessly. Seeing it she lets out a shaking breath she hadn't known she was holding.

At the threshold she hesitates, almost convinced that he's some mirage that will disappear if she moves any closer. Eventually she creeps into his room, silent as a shadow, until she's standing by his bed. With just her fingertips, the barest brush of skin on skin, she touches his cheek and its real.

He's real.

With that knowledge the tension in her shoulders and back drains away in a rush that leaves her almost limp with relief. When she heads for the door she hears the sound of his breathing change minutely and then—"Tifa?"

It's a groggy whisper and she turns back to see a brief glint of pale light on half opened eyes. "S'mthin' wrong?"

She smiles; thinking he can't see it, but not sure. "Just a dream," she whispers back.

"M'k."


	2. Chapter 2: Naptime

Author's Note: So this is where the real story starts! Its exciting I tell you. Remember I would love to hear what you think, and you're welcome to visit me on my livejournal if you want (the links in my profile.) Enjoy.

Insomnis Veritas: _In Dreams there is Truth_

Chapter 2: Naptime

April is the cruelest month, breeding  
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing  
Memory and desire, stirring  
Dull roots with spring rain.  
-T. S. Eliot, _The Waste Land_

Tifa was hiding behind the bar. The irony that a woman who had traveled across the planet, could smash through doors with a single punch, and had fought monsters and a psychotic with a god complex was now hiding from a girl she could probably break over her knee was not lost on her. It hadn't been something she'd thought about before she'd done it. She'd seen the dark bobbing head of hair and felt so _tired_ and then the next thing she knew she was crouched down behind her bar and trying to stay completely still. The front door opened, it didn't slam open because the door tended to stick but she could hear it creak open. Loudly.

"Tifa!" Yuffie yelled out racing for the stairs, not even glancing behind the bar.

Tifa blinked. She'd come to the part that she hadn't really considered. She'd hidden from Yuffie, now what? She couldn't leave and pretend she hadn't been there, the door had been unlocked. She couldn't go to her room; there was a Yuffie heading up there now. "Tifa!"

'_The store room maybe?_' she thought. '_Or the kitchen?_' She'd have to dash, crouched down, to do either. The storeroom had only one door but the kitchen led to a back alley where she could claim she hadn't heard Yuffie from. She started for the kitchen when there was a pounding of feet on the stairs.

"Tifa are you here?"

There wasn't any time!

She could pretend she was asleep! Even as the thought came to her she blamed it on sleep deprivation. '_It's the stupidest plan I've ever had,_' she thought even as she turned to lean on the bar and close her eyes. Yuffie would fall for it. It was Yuffie after all.

The pounding was getting louder. "Tif—" the yelling and the footsteps stopped abruptly. She'd been spotted, now she just had to look peaceful or something. "Tifa? What are you doing over there? Didn't you hear me calling you?" A soft step. "Are you—sleeping? Behind your _bar_?" There were a couple more steps. "This can't be healthy. I mean, someone could rob ya blind and you'd never wake up."

'_Shh, you're talking to a sleeping person._' Tifa tried to project at her friend while trying to figure out how exactly she'd gotten into this situation. The sheer ridiculousness alone made her want to open her eyes and confess, but what would she say? '_Sorry, Yuf, I couldn't stand the thought of your company so I pretended to be a sleep. I still love you. I promise. Hey, don't throw that glass at me!_'

"Poor thing, you look so tired." Tifa felt a gentle hand brush her hair from her forehead.

Well now she was going to cry.

Yuffie wasn't exactly the most kind and thoughtful of people and that she showed concern for Tifa was, well, kind and thoughtful and Tifa _was_ tired. Tired enough that she hid behind counters when her friends came to see her. Tired enough that she might actually cry at stupid things that no sane person actually cried about.

She had the urge to throw her arms around her friend's neck and beg forgiveness. Maybe her glassware would be safe if she did it that way.

"But you shouldn't be sleeping on the floor behind your bar. I can't just leave you here."

If she did there was a very good chance that Tifa wouldn't be pretending to sleep anymore. All her limbs felt heavy and all she wanted to do was curl up on the floor. How did she manage to get herself in these situations? Yuffie was in town for a week and of course Tifa wanted to spend time with the ninja. She'd missed her while she was away. So why had she gotten herself into such a stupid situation while trying to avoid her? It just didn't make any sense.

"Carrying you would be awkward. You're, like, tall." There were hmm-ing noises. "If I wake you up you'll insist on going back to work, I just know it."

'_No. I won't. I promise!_'

There was shuffling noises and the bar door opened with a creak and a soft tinkling. "Hi!" Yuffie chirped.

"Yo."

'_Oh Shiva, no._' She knew that voice.

"Can you help me with something?"

'_No! Don't get Reno to carry me to my room!_'

"Depends, ya? Help with what?"

'_Nonononononononono._'

"Carrying Tifa!" Yuffie was a chirper. She'd always been a chirper. So why did this suddenly make Tifa want to strangle her?

"What's wrong with her?" Of course Rude was there. Reno was there. They didn't go anywhere without the other. Maybe they were lovers. Tifa had to remind herself that either vomiting or giggling would give her away.

This had gone beyond embarrassing now. It was into a land where she'd have to spend the next week with her head under her bed if they figured out she wasn't actually asleep.

"She's asleep!" Yuffie patted Tifa's head affectionately. "Works too hard, ya know?"

"Do we get free drinks out of it?"

'_No, Reno. You will, however, get free drinks if you all just go away_.'

"Sure. I'm sure Tifa'd be grateful." There was a tromping of feet and Tifa had to work hard on not grimacing or jumping up and making a run for it.

Hands were sliding beneath her, thin but strong. '_Reno_,' she thought more than a little confused. Didn't Reno pass these sorts of things off to Rude, brute force and all that? She willed her body limp as she was pulled into a lean chest, her head lolling into the crook of his neck. His hair brushed her cheek gently and she evened her breathing as best she could.

She'd expected him to smell like cigarettes, he was a chimney most times that she saw him. '_It must take a lot of effort to get rid of the stench._' She breathed in deeply. His cologne was really nice actually.

"This way." Yuffie said sounding much too happy. Tifa could feel the unevenness of the stairs beneath Reno.

His cologne was _really_ nice. She nuzzled his neck without realizing it and not noticing the way he seemed to freeze for a heartbeat. Cologne like that made her want to—

She was taking a nap. When they left her in her room she was staying there. Sleep deprivation was obviously a very serious serious mental disease. It would have to be if she was thinking about—nibbling—the neck of Reno, of all people.

"This ones her room!"

'_Thank Shiva!_' The ride to her room was actually kind of nice she had to admit. The rocking was comforting almost, like floating even.

"How has she not woken up?" Rude wanted to know.

'_Shut up, no one likes you!_'

"You don't understand! She _never_ sleeps. She's always doing stuff." Tifa heard her door whisper open, she just hoped it wasn't wishful thinking. "The woman doesn't know how to take a break."

"She's a workaholic." Oh there was a fun rumbling when Reno talked—wait, she was not a workaholic!

"Here, let me pull down the covers." Tifa felt herself being put down gently on something soft and yielding. "I'm surprised I haven't found her curled up in a corner sleeping more often. Oh, her shoes!"

'_You can leave those—_' There were hands on her feet and after a moment she felt her sneakers slide off.

"What are you guys doing here anyway?" Yuffie asked, like the thought had just occurred to her. Tifa felt covers being tucked around her shoulder and heard the rustle of fabric as Yuffie stood up straight.

"Trying to get free drinks. She's a softie, you know." Reno said and Tifa could imagine the smirk. It was also the best bar in town and they'd figured out that Cloud was never there. "Plus Rude likes looking at her."

Couldn't the lifestream swallow her or something? Just for old time's sake?

"So do you!" Tifa loved her friend, she did, but Yuffie was going down. Hard.

"Never said I didn't, did I?"

Someone brushed hair off her cheek and for the life of her she didn't know who had done it.

"Come on, before we wake her up," Yuffie said and there was a sound that made her think the short ninja was tugging on something. There were footsteps again, fading away with distance and she chanced opening her eyes to watch them go. Rude was leaning against the doorframe his head turned towards her. She couldn't see his eyes because of his sunglasses but she had a sinking feeling that he was watching her. He didn't move and she was starting to wonder if he was pretending to have fallen asleep on his feet, which was something that suddenly seemed not so horribly far-fetched anymore.

"Yo, Rude!"

The giant of a man nodded at her, pushed off the door, and disappeared down the hall. Shiva hated her. The lifestream had abandoned her. Her friend had gotten a Turk to carry her to bed. If now wasn't the time for a nap she didn't know when was. So Tifa turned to her side facing the wall beside her bed, cuddled her covers beneath her chin, and closed her eyes.

-------

She woke feeling groggy and more tired than when she went to sleep. She could feel that time had passed just not how much. Tifa pulled herself out of bed with a grunt and went to open her blinds. The sun was still out.

'_It's so pretty._' She thought, remembering a time when she would have looked out this window and not been able to see a sunny day.

There were sounds coming from downstairs and Tifa turned to gap at her door. Who was manning the bar? She took off down the hall. What had she been thinking taking a nap? She had a business to run! She stumbled down the last few steps and stopped with a groan. There were two men sitting at the bar looking confused and a little distressed. Rude was standing arms crossed and glowering at them from behind the counter when Reno suddenly popped up beside him.

"How 'bout whiskey straight?"

Yuffie appeared beside _him_. "What goes into a 'Leg Spreader' again?" Now her face screwed up. "You're sure you're not just trying to hit on me?"

Tifa was caught between going back up stairs to hide again and saving her bar. For a moment she looked longingly up her stairs before sighing. She had mouths to feed and only one of them was her own. She grabbed a bottle of pineapple juice on her way behind the bar and shouldering the three helpers out of the way.

"Tifa!" Yuffie called happily waving over Reno's head, which required she jump up and down. "You never told me running a bar was _hard_." If Tifa didn't know better she would think Yuffie sounded accusing.

Tifa smiled at the two men sitting at the bar. "Sorry about the confusion." It was hard not to smile back with Tifa beaming at them.

"No problem," one of them said gruffly with a shrug as the other nodded with a superstitious glare at Rude. Maybe it wasn't just her pretty white teeth.

"A 'leg spreader' and what were you wanting?"

"A whiskey straight!" Reno put in. "It's good for you!"

Tifa ignored him.

"Amaretto Sour."

"Coming right up." It wasn't long before a bright electric yellow drink was placed beside a glass of reddish brown liquor. She took the men's cash and shooed the other three beside her away from her customers.

"That's a girly-ass drink, yo."

Which was why she'd been trying to get them out of earshot. She rolled her eyes. She should have known it was going to be a lost cause.

"What's going on?" She looked at Yuffie, knowing the men wouldn't be much help.

"We found you sleeping behind your bar. Why were you sleeping behind the bar?"

"Uh—" Tifa flapped her mouth a couple times, looking frighteningly like a fish. "I was doing inventory and I don't—I don't really remember—the sleeping."

"Are you sick?" Yuffie looked concerned.

"Yeah, that's not a good sign. You know what I mean?" Reno asked and pointed a finger at Tifa.

She was struck with the idea that he should have left by now. As soon as Reno had figured out she wasn't going to kill him on sight and was actually willing to serve them liquor and food he and Rude had started showing up at least twice a week for lunch. They always left by one. She didn't know what time it was but she was pretty sure it was long past one. "Why haven't you guys gone out to—do whatever it is you guys do?" She asked.

"They were helping me!" Yuffie bounced again.

"Well, that's…nice of you guys." Tifa sighed then smiled. "Really appreciate it."

"Can we get some whiskey now?"

"Sure, on me."

"See! See! I told you she'd give you free drinks!" Yuffie beamed at the two men before skipping away to circle around to the other side of the bar and sit on a stool. "I'll take one of those 'leg spreaders.' Its so pretty."

Rude and Reno took a bit longer to get out from behind the bar. What with the lack of skipping and all. Tifa was going to have to redo her inventory when they left to see what Reno had stolen.

She eyed the drink of her patron and frowned. "What time is it?"

"4:30," Rude answered after a glance at his watch.

"It's a bit early yet for that sort of drink—"

"But he has one!"

"I've got something else you might want to try first though."

"What is it?"

"Hard cider. You'll like it." She'd already poured to short glasses of whiskey and put them in front of Reno and Rude. She got out a bottle of Granny Smith and twisted the top off. "Just try it."

Yuffie took the bottle and took a swig before grinning. "It's gorgeous."

"Hm," Tifa agreed and narrowed her eyes. "So what brings you to my bar?"

"I'm bored. I came to town to see you guys but you're always working. And Cloud—"

"Where is the chocobo head?" Reno broke in, bringing his glass down with a thud. Some whiskey splashed out onto his hand and he frowned down at it.

"Not here." Tifa bit out and leaned back with a bewildered smile as he licked the whiskey off his hand. "What's it to you?"

"Boss likes to know these things?"

"So that's why you stayed to help with the bar?" Her eyelids felt heavy, like each lash had a miniature weight strapped to it. Being tired made her want to drive them out of the bar on the off chance that she could disappear back up into her room.

"And to help out a friend," Reno grinned showing off perfect white teeth. He had to whiten them she thought idly.

"I didn't know we were friends."

"I didn't know we weren't." He wasn't so much grinning as scowling now and Tifa looked into his blue blue eyes and blinked.

"I guess we are, aren't we?"

"What?"

"Friends."

He looked distinctly uncomfortable at that and elbowed Rude. It looked like he did it just so he could get the bigger man to elbow him back. Which he did, hard enough to make the redhead grunt.

"Yeah, they're friends." Yuffie cheered lifting her hands in the air. "Means they can come to the Christmas party!" Reno and Rude were muttering amongst their selves at this.

"Uh sure…but that's months away."

"So?"

"Where are Marlene and Denzel?" Tifa asked suddenly, almost desperately. She didn't want to go into this sort of conversation with Yuffie. She knew that tone of voice. Even though she agreed and Yuffie agreed they would still end up going round and round anyway. "They should be home by now."

"They came home while you were sleeping. I told them to go back out to play." Yuffie told her, taking another long pull if cider. "They should be back by dinner. Which I can stay for, right?"

Tifa's eyelids drooped. The men were talking and their voices became like static white noise in the background. She had the strangest sensation of falling.

"Tifa?"

Her head snapped up and she blinked at Yuffie, who was looking strangely serious.

"Of course you can stay for dinner." Tifa smiled and ran a hand through her hair.

"Can we stay for dinner too?" Reno wiggled his eyebrows, which made his goggles bob. "Since we're friends and all?"

"Sure." She walked over to get the empty glasses of the two other men after they'd left. She stared at the glass in her hand for a second. Funny, she didn't remember when they'd gone. "I don't think I have enough chicken though."

"You're not making burgers?" Reno asked skeptically.

"I only make burgers for the bar 'cause it's easy. Same with sandwiches. I make other things too."

"Really?"

"Can you go get me some things from the store?" She asked Yuffie abandoning Reno for a lost cause.

"Sure!"

"I'll make a list." She got out paper and pen. "Can you guys go with her?" Reno and Rude exchanged a look. It was one of those guy looks, the kind Barret had always exchanged with Cloud or Cid, that no girl had hope of deciphering. Reno nodded.

"I'll go." Rude offered, finishing his drink and getting off his stool.

"I ain't goin' no where." Reno crowed and slouched down to make his point.

"O.k." Tifa held out the list to Yuffie who snatched it up happily.

"Let's go!" Rude was dragged from the bar and Tifa found herself alone with Reno. She hadn't been alone with him in—she couldn't remember the last time she'd been alone with him.

"So—" he started.

"Hm?" She was feeling extremely awkward.

"Where is Blondie? I haven't seen him around in weeks."

Tifa cocked her head at him, confused. Reno never came to the bar when Cloud was there. She suspected he did it deliberately. She was almost certain that if Fenrir was parked out front Reno just passed the bar by. So of course he wouldn't see him around. "He's out of town." She finally answered.

"He's out of town a lot."

"Well, ya see, he runs this business. They call it Strife Delivery Service, and sometimes he has to deliver things really far away." Of course he didn't have to take as many long distance ones as he did.

"Ok, fine. Be that way." Reno glared and Tifa laughed, an almost hollow sound. "When's he due back?"

She shrugged. "He's been gone for a couple days but I don't know how long before he gets back." She screwed up her face in annoyance and rolled her eyes. "It would be so much easier if he just answered his damn phone."

There was quiet then. She wasn't used to quiet from the redhead. He never stopped talking, ever. It had something to do with the guy look, she was sure of it.

"Something wrong?" The question surprised her and she jumped.

"What?"

"I just—" Reno sniffed and shook his bangs from his eyes. "Just what I asked. Something wrong?"

"No." Tifa blinked. "What makes you think that?"

He gave her a look that she couldn't decipher. One that said 'you're-joking-right?' or possibly 'don't-I-look-funny-with-my-eyebrows-like-this?' but she was betting on the former.

"Reno, nothing's wrong."

He shrugged and pushed his glass towards her. "Whatever you say, but I'm gonna need more liquor to believe you."

"Fine." She got out the bottle of whiskey again and he watched her.

"You're pale."

She stopped with the bottle tipped towards his glass but not far enough that any of the liquid spilled out.

"Do you sleep at all? Other than during the day behind your bar?"

"Of course I sleep."

His hand shot out to catch her chin and make her look at him. "Don't lie."

It was so rare that he touched her, that anyone but the children touched her actually, that she wasn't sure what to do. His hand was so warm and her face felt so cold in contrast. She swallowed and it took her a moment to realize he was moving his thumb, stroking her cheek softly. She watched his eyes move down to watch her tongue dart out to wet her lips.

The bar door slammed open. Tifa jerked even as she realized what that meant. Cloud only ever made the door slam, his most casual shove enough force for it. She looked up and there he was, standing in the doorway, mouth open, eyes on them, and looking a little lost. Like he thought maybe he'd walked in the wrong door. Like maybe he hoped he'd walked in the wrong door.

"Cloud." Tifa stepped back from Reno's hand like a kid caught touching something they shouldn't have, like mother's favorite antique or cookies that were for guests. "I didn't think you'd be back for a couple days."

It looked like Cloud didn't know if he wanted to be angry or hurt so he just ended up looking uncomfortable as he shifted from foot to foot in front of the open doorway. "I'm back early." He answered quietly and glared at Reno's still outstretched hand.

"Obviously." Tifa reached out to put Reno's hand down. "Welcome home! We missed you!"

"What are you doing her?" Cloud asked Reno as he turned to close the door. His black pants swayed around his legs.

"Drinking and babysitting."

"Babysitting!" Tifa's eyes narrowed and she started to reach across the bar. "Why you little—"

"We found her sleeping behind the bar." Reno pointed a thumb over his shoulder at Tifa ignoring her sudden and loud squawk. "We're thinking she might be sick."

"I'm not!" Tifa yelled just as Cloud asked, "You're sick?"

He took a step towards her, his boots clunking on the wood floors as he reached out to her. Something warm and fuzzy bubbled up in her chest at the concern on his face.

"I had to carry her to bed," Reno said suddenly looking both evil and a little maniacal. Tifa was looking from Reno to Cloud and wondering about the chances of getting them outside before her bar was destroyed. The look on Cloud's face said the chances were very slim.

"I'm not sick." She cut in with a reassuring smile. She turned to Reno with a growl. "I'm not."

"You fell asleep in the middle of the day behind your bar. That ain't normal, yo." Reno waved his hands in the air angrily.

"I was sleepy. That doesn't make me sick. It makes me sleepy." She sighed and took Reno's empty glass away. "Mind your own business."

"Hey he made a grab for the glass almost falling off his stool.

Cloud wasn't as distracted. "Maybe you should get some sleep."

"I already took a nap. I'm fine." She turned and pointed a threatening finger at Reno. "And you! Shush or not dinner for you."

"Aw, come on." He made a swipe and got the glass and the bottle of whiskey.

"He's coming to dinner?" Cloud had never been one for expressing himself. Every emotion except for guilt, of course. He was good at that one but everything else: happiness, anger, fear, excitement were just thing that were not very good at registering in his voice or on his face. With that one question though he managed to convey the disgust of someone who had just stepped in something large and gross and Reno was the originator.

"Yuffie and Rude are coming too." Tifa attempted with a smile but it felt as much like plastic as she was sure it looked. "They helped with the bar while I was…napping. Its my 'thank you.'"

"Yeah, be more grateful!" Reno grinned and shook his head, effectively puffing his bangs.

Tifa tugged on one lock of fiery hair. "What happened to shushing?"

"I've never been very good at that." He grinned at her and pulled a loose lock of her own dark hair.

"I've noticed."

There was a loud clomping of boots on wood and they both turned to see Cloud heading for the stairs.

"Cloud?"

"I need a shower."

"Ok. I'll call you when dinner's ready then." She wasn't sure but she thought he nodded before disappearing from view.


End file.
